Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning we get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you. Please read our disclosure for more info.
Stuck in a sex rut? There are plenty of things that you can do to spice things up in ye olde bedroom. If you have been having problems with your sex life, it is important to know that you are not alone. Plenty of couples struggle with their love lives especially after many years of dating.
Great sex is an achievement and not a given. It takes work (a lot of work) to keep things spicy in the bedroom. There are numerous reasons why your sex life may not be as exciting as it once was. From leading lifestyles that are too stressful and demanding to having unrealistic expectations of your partner, it can be hard to keep things going in bed.
And when you are a parent, the task is made even harder. Couples that still enjoy each other and have a great sex life after years together are not lucky- they are committed to making sure that things stay hot and fresh. Fortunately, if you are stuck in a rut, there are plenty of things that you can do to reverse the effects of a boring sex life; all you have to do is be willing to try.
In This Post:
Signs That You Need to Switch Things up in the Bedroom
At the start of a relationship, the desire for sex is usually at an all-time high. As the relationship progresses, the desire dwindles and can often feel like a flickering candle flame rather than a raging bonfire.
It is normal for sexual desire to reduce the longer that a couple stays together. But rather than cop out and give up, the best thing that you can do is try and fuel the fire again. You know that your sex life has gone stale if:
Sex Has Become a Chore
If your sex life has started to become a chore, kind of like homework or forcing a child to eat his or her veggies, then you need to make it exciting enough so that you can have something to look forward to.
You Are Often Too Busy to Try
Here is some hardcore truth for you: no one is ever really too busy to have sex. Rather than put things off, consider sticking to a scheduled date night at first before progressing to impromptu sexcapades.
You Haven’t Worn Anything Sexy in the Bedroom in a While
Does your idea of wearing something risqué in the bedroom involve taking off your pants? If so, worry not; there are plenty of affordable lingerie options to suit every shape and size that you can try on to spice things up.
You’ve Changed Your Hair Color More Times Than You Have Sex Positions
When it comes to sex positions, you want to make sure that you are switching things up and adding different moves to your repertoire. If you and your partner are open to it, consider speaking to a sex therapist. Better yet, think about introducing sex toys to prolong your sexual adventures together.
You Are Jealous of Your Friend’s Active Sex Life
If you often find yourself green with envy as your friends regale you with tales of their exciting sex lives, then you need to take matters into your hands. Try expressing to your partner any sexual fantasies that you may have.
You never know; perhaps your partner has been waiting for you to make the first move. Even if you might not end up acting on your fantasies, at least you will have opened up the door for future possibilities and you can continue having conversations aimed at improving the state of affairs.
What You Can Do to Improve Your Romance Levels in the Bedroom
Set a Date Night
To create a little more romance in the bedroom, ensure that you set a date night but don’t wait until the very end to have sex. Rather, start at the beginning of the night. This will help you prioritize your bond and it will go a long way in boosting both of your moods so that you can have a great night, all night.
Stop Watching TV in the Bedroom
If you are struggling in the romance department, you may need to remove the TV from your bedroom and even ditch the smartphones and tablets. TVs and gadgets can be an unnecessary disruption that prevents you from connecting.
According to Kate Huber, chief editor at NJGamblingFun ‘’If you have an easier time connecting with your phone than you do connecting with your partner, then something is definitely amiss in the bedroom. Not only do phones drain your energy (and your battery), they can interrupt your sexual flow and worse, make it hard for you to fall asleep. As such, keep your gadgets away when it is time to sex it up.’’
Make a Sexy Playlist
If you want to have more sex, try adding music to your repertoire. Music plays a very vital role when it comes to getting things hot between the sheets. Playing some sexy music before you put the moves on your lover is a standard when it comes to the art of seduction.
Music evokes emotions and feelings that make it easier to feel more present and in tune with your partner. When creating your playlist, focus on adding songs that turn you on and make you feel sexy and confident. You can also include songs that you both love or those that remind you of the great times you had together. Do not be afraid to add a little dancing to the mix as it can also be very erotic.
Don’t Discount the Quickie Just Yet
If you have kids or find yourself too busy, a quickie can be just what you need to get things back on track. Quickies help you add the element of surprise to your sex life and they encourage spontaneity in relationships.
Your relationship and sex life are interconnected. Most people fail to recognize or underestimate the impact that their sex life has on their relationship and vice versa. If your relationship is struggling or has stagnated, putting some effort in the bedroom might work to revive the passion between you and your lover or partner.